fork ( );

"If i could carry a tune,
 i would sing for a living,
 And if i could write,
 i would sing of depths within those words,
 But since i can do neither, i write code for a living,
 with the hope that someday the depth of those words
 will create something truly beautiful."

[Unclustered]

Deepest Blue

The sun will always shine on you,
You turn my ocean deepest blue,
I'll never hide my thoughts from you,
You're my deepest blue.

[Deepest Blue (Jon Hopkins Mix) - Deepest Blue]

Waiting On The World To Change

Me and all my friends,
We're all misunderstood,
They say we stand for nothing and
There's no way we ever could.

Now we see everything that's going wrong,
With the world and those who lead it,
We just feel like we don't have the means
To rise above and beat it.

So we keep waiting,
Waiting on the world to change,
We keep on waiting,
Waiting on the world to change.

We keep on waiting,
Waiting on the world to change.

[Waiting on the world to change - John Mayer]

From Mellow To Jell-O

In three easy steps...

www.StudioSapuri.com

Standing On The Shoulder Of Giants

This is not light reading.

You step into your own life as you grow older and more independent. You take the reigns and own the life you have been watching for so long. While you're doing this, your parents are aging and are going from being the star of their own lives to actors in the lives of their children. As you become independent; they become dependent on you. Such is the way of the world.

Sometimes i wake up in the morning and feel confused. I ask myself why i am living a life so far away from my family? I feel a loss of purpose. I feel like i am wasting precious time that i could spend with my parents while they are still happy and active. I justify the distance by saying that i am laying the foundations of a good life for myself, my wife and my children. Is that true? At what cost? There are people back home doing exactly this with fewer opportunities available to them. My parents made a good life for themselves and their children back home so why can't i? I say it out loud every chance i get but will i really go home to be with and support my family when they need me? People tend to be skeptical. Am i deceiving myself? Have i gotten too used to the easy life here? I'm not very certain about most things in life but i know that i cannot stand on the sidelines. I know this to be true because that's how i was raised, these were our values, and that is where our hearts were... with our families.

Aging is just a natural part of life therefore i don't find it to be particularly sad. Yes, it is sad that we can no longer do all those things we could when we were younger but now we can do a lot of other things that we were not able to before. Some of it comes with knowledge, some with experience... each part of life is unique and should be lived for its novelty. Then why does watching your parents age make you sad? It's because you don't want to see them in pain and you don't want to lose them. Watching them deal with aging can be very hard but their passing we actually mourn for more selfish reasons... because we don't have access to them anymore.. its more of a loss to the living than to those who have passed away - hopefully with a good life behind them. These thoughts are heart wrenching to face but if you muster  up the courage to address them for your parents, won't they feel more at ease?

 جس دن تم ہمیں بوڑھا کمزور دیکھو اور بےزار دیکھو تو تم صبر کرنا اور ہمیں سمھجنے کی کوشش کرنا

For all the understanding and support, for all the aches you tried to take away, and for all the frustrations i put you through, this i promise to you that i will take my time with you as you did for me, i will listen to your reasoning and try to understand you. I might become frustrated at times but i will try and hide it from you lest you misunderstand my meaning and feel yourself a burden. While i'm trying to understand you, please try to understand me. We can work at this together.

جب ہم کھانا کھاتے ہوے گندگی کریں اور اپنے کپڑے بھی نہ بدل سکیں تو پلیز تم برداشت کرنا اور وہ وقت یاد کرنا جب ہم نے تمھیں کھلانے پلانے اور کپڑے بدلوانے میں کتنا وقتلگایا 

I remember that you sacrificed your own comfort and luxury to take care of us. I remember that you worked all day and ran after us all evening. We ate well, dressed well, were entertained well, were educated well.As parents, you have earned our loyalty and respect.

جب ہم تم سے بات کریں اور ایک بات کو بار بار دہرائیں تو ہماری بات نہ کاٹنا - ہمیں سننا. جب تم چھوٹے تھے تو ہمیں ایک ہی کھانی ہزارایک دفعہ سناتے تھے جب تک کہ تمھیں نیند نہ آجاتی

For all your patience, you too will have mine. You can repeat yourself as often as you like, i will lend you my ear lest you feel alone and unappreciated. Your sacrifices have also earned you that right. 

جب ہم نہانا نا چاہیں تو ہمیں شرمندہ نہ کرنا نہ ڈانٹنا، یاد کرنا جب ہم تمھارے ہزاروں بھانوں کے باوجود تمھارے پیچھے پڑے رہتے تھے کہ کسی طرھ تم نہلو

Your children will keep you clean and well groomed. They will keep you dressed with the same class and grace that you exhibited all through out my life. Don't worry, i won't dress you in pink Bermuda shorts for the first day of school and i will never pick you up and drop you in the cold shower when you refuse to bathe. Those will just remain as fond memories from the life we shared together. They give my life character and i will cherish them. Rest assured that we will not force our opinions on you in the same way you never forced anything on us. You made some mistakes and we learned from them. You let us make many more mistakes and we learned from them too. You taught us to think independently and make decisions about our lives from an early age. We will return this kindness and foresight that has shaped us into the people we are today - strong, independent, empathetic people.

جب ہم انٹرنیٹ کی نئی ٹیکنا لو جی کو نہ سمحج سکیں تو ہمیں ہمارے طریقے سے ایس کو سکھانے میی مدد دینا، ہم نے تمھیں بھت ساری چیزیں سکھائیں... صہی طر یقہ سے کھانا، طر یقہ سے کپڑے پہنا اور اپنے حق کے لیےلڑنا

You taught us what to value in life, you taught us how to read and write, you taught us how to stand up for our rights and you taught us how to discern right from wrong in a rational manner. When you asked us to teach you how to use email and the internet, we were impatient and dismissive. We were young and rash but since then we have grown older and wiser and understand that we need to help you understand new things in ways that are easier for you. I know that no electronic device in our home ever functioned to capacity so i will make sure that everything runs smoothly. I owe you many hours of tech support.

جب کبھی کبھی ہماری یاداشت کھو جائے یا بات چیت کامضمون بھول جائیں تو ہمیں یاد کرنے کے لیے مناسب وقت دینا اور ہم نہ کر سکیں تو گھبرانا نھیں، اصل چیز بات چیت نھیں بلکہ  ہم تمھارے ساتھ وقت گزرنا چاہتےہیں اور یہ بھی چاہتے ہیں کہ تم ہماری باتیںسنو

You can take all the time in the world. We will wait for you to remember. We understand that spending time together is the real purpose and not idle chit chat. It is but a means to an end.

اگر کبھی ہمارا کھانےکو دل نہ چاہے تو ہم سے زبردستی نہ کرنا ہم زیادہ بھتر جانتے ہیں کہ کب کھانا ہے اور کب نھیں، جب ہمارے تھکے ہوہے پاؤں ساتھ چھوڑ دیں اور ہم لاٹھی کے بغیر چل نہ سکیں تو ہمیں اپنے ھاتوں سے تھام لینا، جسطرح تم جب اپنے پھلےپھلے کمزور قدم اٹھانے کی کوشش کرتے تھے تو ہم تمھیں تھام لیتےتھے 

Just like you knew better when we were younger, you have to accept that we might insist that you eat not because we know better than you, but because you need to keep your strength up. Don't worry, we wont force feed you but we will try to insist if necessary. You must understand us too and accept if we are trying to help you for the right reasons. When you wobble, we will support you with dignity, when you collapse, we will catch you and help you heal, when you need our strength, we will bear it all.

اور جب کسی دن ہم کھیں کہ ہم اور زندہ رہنا نھیں چاتے ہم مرنا چاتے ہیں تو غصہ نہ ہونا ایک دن تم بھی یہ بات سمھج جاؤ گے ہماری ہمت بڑھانا ہماری امر زندہ رہنے کی نھیں ہے ہم تو بس بقایا زندگی گزار رہیںہیں 

Death is something that frightens us because it is irreversible but i don't think death is always sad. We are disturbed by it because we lose the people we love. The emotions we experience when a loved one passes are more selfish than anything else. It is a sad thought that my loved ones are no longer here. I can no longer touch them, talk to them or just soak in their presence. If you say that you don't want to live anymore, my first reaction could be anger but the anger is not directed at you, its actually a realization that i am headed for a very big loss. When you feel spent and defeated, i will shoulder your burden and help you muster your courage. If you are bed ridden and suffering, you will still need to convince me that its okay to stop fighting for you and to accept that i can let you go. It is not in my nature to give up without a fight... i will fight for you with everything i am until you tell me that you are ready. It takes a lot of courage to fight and we all do it, but it takes even more courage to understand your parent's wishes and accept the reasoning behind them. You have to tell me when you are ready... please don't leave the decision up to me. I cant see you suffer but i can also not readily accept losing you for myself. I can not be left to wonder if there was something more to be done or said... life after this thought is too difficult. I have seen it.  And if i were to pass before your time, i would have you take comfort in the thought that i leave behind a rich life. I have lived on my own terms so far and if my family is taken care of after i leave, i would pass happy with the love, life and experience i have already known.

اور جب کسی دن تمھیں پتا چلے کہ ہماری غلطیوں کے باوجود... ہم ہمیشہ تمھارا اچھا ہی چاتے تھے اور ہم کوشش کرتے تھے کہ تمھارے لیے صحیح راستہ اختیار کریں، تم بھی ہمیں اپنے ساتھ رکہ کر اداس، ناراض اور شرمندہ نہ ہونا، سمھجنے کی کوشش کرنا اور ہماری مدد کرنا جسطرح ہم نے کی جب تم نوجوانتھے  

The things you have done for your children, the sacrifices you have made, and the love and support you have shown us has earned you the highest place in our lives. Our love and desire to take care of you as you did for us will help us always keep you close to our hearts and in our minds. We will be by your side every step of the way. Although i have been absent from your side for a long time now, believe that my thoughts always lead to you. This i promise that you will know the ferocity of my love and loyalty and then be afraid no more.

Oaths you have taken...

"Now is the hour...
 Oaths you have taken, now fulfill them all, 
 to lord and land."

[LOTR]

Code Monkey

Code Monkey get up get coffee,
Code Monkey go to job,
Code Monkey have boring meeting,
With boring manager Rob,
Rob say Code Monkey very diligent,
But his output stink,
His code not functional or elegant,
What do Code Monkey think?
Code Monkey think maybe manager
want to write goddamn login page himself?      
Code Monkey not say it out loud,
Code Monkey not crazy just proud...

[Code Monkey - Jonathan Coulton]

And Now For Some Light Humor...

Seriously... WTF?

Chains Of Misery

There's a madman in the corner of your eye,
He likes to pry, into your sunlight,
He wants to burst into the street with you and I,
A world of shadows and of rain,
He's seen what love is,
He wants to pay you back with guilt.

He lies to you he won't let you be,
He's got your chains of misery,
He won't be still till he's turned your key,
He holds your chains of misery.

There's a prophet in the gutter in the street,
He say "you're damned!", and you believe him,
He's got a vision but it shines out through your eyes,
A world of hatred and fear,
He's felt what love means,
He wants to pay you back with pain.

[Chains of misery - Iron maiden]

Been Down So Long

Well, I've been down so Goddamn long,
That it looks like up to me,
Well, I've been down so very damn long,
That it looks like up to me,
Yeah, why don't one you people,
C'mon and set me free.

I said, warden, warden, warden,
Won't you break your lock and key,
I said, warden, warden, warden,
Won't ya break your lock and key,
Yeah, come along here, mister,
C'mon and let the poor boy be.

[Been Down So Long - The Doors]

Ghost Song

Awake,
Shake dreams from your hair my pretty child,
my sweet one, Choose the day and choose the
sign of  your day,  The day's divinity, First thing
you see.

A vast radiant beach and cooled jeweled moon,
Couples naked race down by it's quiet side,
And we laugh like soft, mad children,
Smug in the wooly cotton brains of infancy,
The music and voices are all around us.

Choose they croon the Ancient Ones,
The time has come again, Choose now, they croon,
Beneath the moon, Beside an ancient lake.

Enter again the sweet forest, Enter the hot dream,
Come with us, everything is broken up and dances.

Indians scattered on dawn's highway bleeding,
Ghosts crowd the young child’s fragile eggshell mind.

We have assembled inside,
This ancient and insane theater,
To propagate our lust for life,
And flee the swarming wisdom of the streets.

The barns have stormed, The windows kept,
And only one of all the rest,
To dance and save us,
From the divine mockery of words,
Music inflames temperament.

Oh great creator of being, Grant us one more hour,
To perform our art, And perfect our lives.

We need great golden copulations,

When the true kings murderers are allowed to roam free,
A thousand magicians arise in the land,
Where are the feast we are promised?

One more thing...

Thank you oh lord, For the white blind light,
Thank you oh lord, For the white blind light.

A city rises from the sea, I had a splitting headache,
From which the future's made.

[Ghost Song - The Doors]

Hyacinth House

I need a brand new friend who doesn't bother me,
I need a brand new friend who doesn't trouble me,
I need somebody who doesn't need me.

Why did you throw the Jack of Spades away?
Why did you throw the Jack of Spades away?
It was the only card in the deck I had left to play.

But I'll say it again,  I need a brand new friend,
But I'll say it again,  I need a brand new friend,
And I'll say it again,  I need a brand new friend,
The end.

[Hyacinth House - The Doors]

Love Her Madly

Don't ya love her madly,
Don't ya need her badly,
Don't ya love her ways,
Tell me what you say.

Don't ya love her madly,
Wanna be her daddy,
Don't ya love her face,
Don't ya love her as she's walkin' out the door,
Like she did one thousand times before.

[Love Her Madly - The Doors]

The Wasp

Some call it heavenly in it's brilliance,
Others, mean and ruthful of the Western dream,
I love the friends I have gathered together on this
thin raft,
We have constructed pyramids in honor of our
escaping,
This is the land where the Pharaoh died.

The Negroes in the forest brightly feathered,
They are saying, "Forget the night,
Live with us in forests of azure,
Out here on the perimeter there are no stars,
Out here we is stoned - immaculate."

Listen to this, and I'll tell you about the heartache,
I'll tell you about the heartache and the loss of God,
I'll tell you about the hopeless night,
The meager food for souls forgot,
I'll tell you about the maiden with raw iron soul.

[The Wasp - The Doors]

The Doors Of Perception

"Real poetry doesn't say anything,
it just ticks off the possibilities...
opens all doors,
you can walk through any one that suits you.
If my poetry aims to achieve anything,
it's to deliver people from the limited ways
in which they see and feel."

[James Douglas Morrison]

Everything I Need

It doesn't matter if I'm qualified,                              
Or if I ever learn to blow your mind,
I've got everything I need,
I'm not looking for a place to shine,
I wake up and I'm satisfied,
I've got everything i need.

So even if you wanted to,
You can't save me, you can't fail me,
I'm back up on my feet baby,
On the way down is when i found out,
I've got everything i need.

[Everything i need - The Wallflowers]

I Won't Back Down

Well I won't back down,
No I won't back down,
You can stand me up at the gates of hell,
But I won't back down.

No I'll stand my ground, won't be turned around,
And I'll keep this world from draggin' me down,
gonna stand my ground... and I won't back down.

Hey baby, there ain't no easy way out
Hey I will stand my ground... and I won't back down.

Well I know what's right, I got just one life,
in a world that keeps on pushin' me around,
but I'll stand my ground... and I won't back down.

[I won't back down - Tom Petty]

WTF Pakistan?

Passport Renewal: Form-A














Passport Renewal: NICOP Application

Blind servants of faith

"If everyone agrees that we are weak, lowly, foolish, and despised, this is the first step in understanding that we are sinners. Knowing that we are sinners helps us realize that we need His grace."

[Joseph Lee - Christian E-mail Ministry]

On being foolish: Yes, humans are foolish... we hate and burn others at the stake for things that we don't understand or do not want to understand. When time reveals that we were ignorant, only then do we believe but give no apology or compensation to those we have wronged for the sake of safeguarding our ignorance.

On being lowly: Admitting to your limitations and the supremacy of God, nature and the laws of the universe serves to keep us humble (as it should) but how humble are we in reality? As a race, we are not very humble at all. I believe in respecting one's fellow humans and the environment that sustains us. You cannot respect these things till you learn to respect yourself and others around you. And I'm not referring to the kind of respect that vanishes when asked why one approach / religion is better than other. At this time, we display a sense of arrogance and self-righteousness. Therefore we are not lowly. We are actually very full of ourselves, our cultures, our heritage, our blah blah blah.

On being despised: I believe that the world does despise humans. If the Earth or the creatures that live here could talk, we would come to realize how despised we really are. We multiply and deplete the Earth's resources, force free animals in slavery, treat them and the Earth harshly and as our personal property. We go out when we please leaving our pets in cages or trapped within 4 walls so we don't lose ownership of them. All creatures are meant to be free... humans should look onto themselves and realize that we have evolved into the deadliest virus the Earth has ever known.

On being sinners: We are not born as sinners. We are born with a clean slate. It is up to us how we spend our lives... as sinners or as good human beings. The idea of labeling an innocent new born as a sinner is repulsive to me. Surely you would not label an infant a sinner? We do not inherit the sins of our fathers or our nation, we only choose to acquire them.

State of emergency

The reptilians have called an emergency meeting... go to tactical alert!