Did You Ever Wonder...

• Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard when he lives in the jungle? Does he have a razor?  
• Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the  batteries are flat? 
• Why do banks charge  a fee on 'insufficient funds' when they know there is not  enough?  
• Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets? 
• Why does someone  believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when  you say the paint is wet? 
• Whose idea was it to put an  'S' in the word 'lisp'? 
• Why is it that people say they 'slept like a baby' when babies wake up every two  hours?  
• How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage? 
• Why do people  pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at  things on the ground?
• Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I'll squeeze
  these pink dangly  things here, and drink whatever comes out"?
• Who was the first person to say, 'See that chicken there... I'm going to eat the thing that comes out from it's bum.' 
• If quizzes are  quizzical, what are tests? 
• Why is there a light in the  fridge and not in the freezer? 
• Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? Aren't they both dogs?
• If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, then what is baby oil made from? 
• If electricity  comes from electrons, does morality come from morons? 
• Why do the Alphabet  song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune? 
• [Stop  singing and read on]
• Did you ever notice  that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him on a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?  
• Does pushing the elevator button more than once make it arrive faster?

via Unc SD