it doesn't look like much but you need all 4s and then some to scale it |
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The Mountain
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Labels:
Musings
Interview WTFs
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Labels:
Musings
Okay so i'll admit it, i've always had issues with job interviews.. something about the other person trying to prove how smart he is and some sort of performance anxiety on my part... but every once in a while you come across a class act who's memory you will always cherish. You'll even tell your kids about him. Don't you wish that sometimes you could say out loud what you're really thinking? Just for kicks?
2010 - Sezmi Corp.
- COO: If you were stranded on a desert island, could you make a computer with whatever you had available?
- Me: No. If you gave me 2 months to spare while living in civilization, a manual and all the parts, it's possible.
- My Head: If i was stranded on a desert island, building a computer would be the last of my worries. Which planet do you come from?
- COO: Well... i only asked because i can! Well, what can you do? Can you write a compiler?
- Me: You mean off the top of my head?
- COO: Yes
- Me: No.
- My Head: Wasn't this position for a JAVA engineer? Why don't you ask me something that would be relevant to what i would be doing everyday? I don't do 'tricks', you're wasting my time and being an asshole! Maybe if i stare at my watch long enough...
- COO: *after a minute or so of waiting* You know... we're looking for people with a lot of wide areas of expertise...
- Me: Like building computers on a desert island?
- My Head: Here's an idea, why don't you just put what you're looking for in the job description? That way i wouldn't have had to dodge work, drive all the way over here, wear a tie that suffocates me or dress pants that ride up my ass. Seriously man.. WTF!?!
In retrospect, i could have just gotten away with 'An Abacus is considered to be an early type of computer right? If i knew how it worked, i could probably throw a few twigs and pebbles together to make you happy'.
2010 - Salesforce.com
- Interviewer: *picks up resume* So are you a Hindu Chaudhry or a Muslim Chaudhry?
- Me: Does it matter?
- Interviewer: Oh never mind... let's move on...
- My Head: WTF!?! Seriously? Is this your first interview? What planet are you from?
2002 - Some software house in Askari Villas, Cavalry , Lahore
... 30 minutes into a fairly disastrous interview; 3 minutes to company lunch time ...- Interviewer: *looking at watch* Do you read Cosmopolitan?
- Me: *shocked..What plant am i on again? oh, Pakistan.. that's right! okay just nod and smile*
- My Head: He obviously thinks you're a dumb rich kid from LUMS; he's probably bored since he has no work to do and isn't very good at it either; doesn't look like he's learned or done anything new in years. I may not be at the top of my game yet, but he just looks like he's falling down a cliff. Okay play dumb and see where this goes...
- Interviewer: acha to aap ko kabhi piyar hoya hai?
- Me: *must resist... nod and smile*
- Interviewer: When you were at LUMS, did you do all your assignments yourself?
- Me: *getting up to leave* I think this interview is over
- Interviewer: Mind na karain... har kisi ka apna apna interview style hota hai...
- Me: Enjoy your lunch break uncle.
- My head: I hope you choke on it asshole!
- My Head: *as i walk to the car* I hope to God I'm not him in 15 years... that would really suck!
Something tells me that this isn't over quite yet... I'm going to be adding more amusing anecdotes to this post in the future.
Database Vs. Friend In Need
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Labels:
Horsin' Around
When a couple of dejected engineering
graduate students at USC get together
for a Friday night.
The beat in the background is him beat
boxing.
Sapuri*D - Nupac Sessions - Los Angeles, CA
graduate students at USC get together
for a Friday night.
The beat in the background is him beat
boxing.
Sapuri*D - Nupac Sessions - Los Angeles, CA
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